Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Either Way, I'm Here

For Kaden

Let me hold your hand, and I will hold it tightly
Until a looser grip suits your stability
And when your palm aches to feel the breeze of independence,
And your soles of your feet wish to walk unassisted,
I will stand beside you so that we both feel the wind on our faces
But if the wind blows too hard, my shoulder is there
We can sway together with the wind in our hair -
Until it becomes time again to step forward
I want to help you find what you're looking for
Let me walk near you so that even in your solitude,
You can derive comfort from the things I wish for you.



Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Bottom of the Glass

There's a care-free - care-less? side of me that pours the wine
And toasts to you - to us. We are happy. But there is also a side -
- an exposed nerve that is struck with each can's opening crack
Burdened memory begs, "Are things as good as they seem?"
I hastily gulp my wine to drown the doubt. I say I'm fine. 
We? are? fine? Logical Thinking looks for a way out, 
Edges of the lies stab from the inside-out
My breath reeks heavily of doubt
Another glass tells me it's okay
The pain pretends to go away
But 
my 
memory 
can't help 
but maintain
every reminder from a sopping wet past.
There is no way out from the bottom of the glass.

Friday, April 19, 2013

My Happy Poetry:


Is happiness a balloon tied to my heart?
Accidentally pulling me away from my art? 
Words escape me with this inundation of feeling
Like a toddler with a spoonful of peas
These gushy sentences refuse the pen.
My writing no longer comes with ease.


I am in love!
I am happy about this!
I... am... grateful
But I am wordless!

See?


Monday, April 15, 2013

Warning Label

She draws you in.
You feel her first bite.

It stings at first,
But there's barely a fight,
Because then comes the rush,
The numbness makes it alright.
She fills up the emptiness,
Warms blood that turned cold,
Then she promises to stay 
Says you two will grow old.

In rare moments of clarity,
You know it's a trap
But she fills up your cup
And she rubs your back. 

She puts on a mask, a friendly decoy
That distracts you with laughter,
And provides a fake sense of joy.

Then the head aches begin,
And your stomach won't heal
Until you've forgotten what it's like -
- to feel pain. to feel well. to feel. 

She's a silent fluid predator
Slipping down your throat
And unless you catch her,
She'll completely take you out. 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Watermelon


When I was a small girl, I sat in my grandmother’s yard with watermelon juice dripping down my chin. Once the triangle slice disappeared, I examined the white colored piece of the rind and took a bite. I worried it might not be good for me, but Mum said it was okay. I continued taking bites until the white section was gone. And even though the rind was bitter, I ate it with the hope of staying connected to the cool, sweetness of the watermelon’s pink flesh.

Dear small girl, 

     Please, please just ask your mom for another slice. 

With Love, 
Lessons Learned.

Please Remember?


Can we remember our opinions on how others' should work? 
How we would fix all these people that hurt? 
Because we have easy answers for everyone else. 
We have the answers to it all, within ourselves, 
Derived from our experiences, permanently ingrained. 
Can we remember that? That we know everything? 
I'll look at your answers, you look at mine. 
If we can just remember every time we smile,
To find compassion with every frown,
Can we remember this? So forever doesn't drown?
Do we even know if forever is real? 
Can we remember that forever is here? 
Can we forget?
And know what is now? 

...what about now? 

Let's not remember. Let's just be. Let's just know:

The way your body feels against mine, 
The way you kiss me like it's the first time,
Let's just know how we feel without fear - 
Let's know nothing beyond right here. 



 



Monday, December 10, 2012

Independent.

My independence grounds me

 - most of the time. 
It is the base from which I operate,
from which I endure the fleeting qualities of - 
 - well, everything. 
It pushes me forward
It lay below me when I fall. 

But sometimes, 

My independence leaves me

It leaves me cold and alone and silent.
Alone to face the darkness.
And I'm here feeling my way through -
While the ghost of independence just lurks.




Monday, November 5, 2012

Facing Backward

Sinking eyes.
Serious mouths.
Sad shoulders.

Long faces hold yesterday's gaze
Eyes turn inward
Minds travel backward


Though the train pulls forward

The morning hangs on, 
The night won't let go.
There is a small child clinging

To all of us. 


Monday, October 15, 2012

Left Isn't Right

Now that you've left
I am compelled to admit
I wish you didn't
I wish we didn't -
I don't know -
Something different

Because...

Now that you are left

I just don't feel right.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Somehow, It Has Been Years

I miss you so much I can feel it in my bones.
I swear my hand is still gripping yours,
Like a phantom limb
And when I look down,
My heart silently breaks all over again.
As I write these words, it twists and swells.
I still can't figure out how to be with you.
But I don't know how to be without you.

I don't know if this will end.
Because I can't let go of your hand.





















9/8/2014